The worlds thinnest ankles

It's nearly time for the world cup so I thought I'd write about football. I don't like football. I don't like watching it, playing it or listening to people talking about it. I don't dislike people who like it but I can't understand why some people get so excioted about it. I guess some people have had some football experince that I never had. Same as religion I suppose, I never had a religious experinece either. I totally accept that some people have experienced something that makes them believe (in god and football) it's just that I never had it. I used to sit in church every sunday asking god if he could make one of the lights fall down to prove that he was there. I guess it wasn't a good test since if it had happened he would have killed a whole bunch of his followers sitting downstairs. So people who follow football have seen the light (or seen the light fall down).
So, why don't I like football? Everyone played football at school but i didn't really like sports and had very thin legs (see pic for proof) so I didn't play. I got invited to a football birthday party once so my dad had to buy me the whole kit boots and all. The boots were really old fashioned and all the other kids made fun of them. It just made me sad because my dad had gone to all that trouble to buy them for me. Now I had the kit I felt obliged to play at school. The routine was that all the kids who wanted to play would stand in the playground and the two best players would pick their teams. Being the last one to be picked was bad enough but when the two captains argued over who would to have to pick me I started to hate football. I have also never seen a friendly game of football and I never play in these staff student matches for that very reason. As soon as you get on the pitch everyone suddenly has the right to abuse whoever they want, and if your team loses and you happen to be the worst player you get blamed. That why I like climbing.
Anyway, even though I hate football I will still watch England play in the world cup and the fact that they never get very far is fine by me.