Bathroom humour

I knew I shouldn't go bouldering today but addictions are like that and I pulled a muscle in my shoulder. Not good news a week before the summer holiday. The labs with the motors are going well, the students are coming up with lots of varied research questions. Can't always be sure if the students will latch onto an idea or not. Tried giving the class a slab of strawberry jelly last christmas to see what interesting physics they could relate to it. Not much happened, they didn't even eat it.
Walked up to the book as usual but had to make a quick return due to urgent need to go to the toilet. Being caught out like this is one of those no win situations, you have to get home fast but if you run the desire gets stronger (must be a research question in there somewhere) so you start running but then have to walk a bit till the desire subsides. What you have to do is run whilst moving your upper body as little as possible, wheels would be a distinct advantage here. I have always thought it strange the way Americans call the toilet the bathroom, I suppose it started because it sounds more polite but now it's not so polite since bathroom has got a new meaning. If I ever go to the states again I have a desire to say I'm going to the bathroom, then go there and have a nice long bath. I suppose instead of "toilet humour" in the states they have "bathroom humour", just can't see what's so funny about soap, plugs and taps though.

The worlds thinnest ankles

It's nearly time for the world cup so I thought I'd write about football. I don't like football. I don't like watching it, playing it or listening to people talking about it. I don't dislike people who like it but I can't understand why some people get so excioted about it. I guess some people have had some football experince that I never had. Same as religion I suppose, I never had a religious experinece either. I totally accept that some people have experienced something that makes them believe (in god and football) it's just that I never had it. I used to sit in church every sunday asking god if he could make one of the lights fall down to prove that he was there. I guess it wasn't a good test since if it had happened he would have killed a whole bunch of his followers sitting downstairs. So people who follow football have seen the light (or seen the light fall down).
So, why don't I like football? Everyone played football at school but i didn't really like sports and had very thin legs (see pic for proof) so I didn't play. I got invited to a football birthday party once so my dad had to buy me the whole kit boots and all. The boots were really old fashioned and all the other kids made fun of them. It just made me sad because my dad had gone to all that trouble to buy them for me. Now I had the kit I felt obliged to play at school. The routine was that all the kids who wanted to play would stand in the playground and the two best players would pick their teams. Being the last one to be picked was bad enough but when the two captains argued over who would to have to pick me I started to hate football. I have also never seen a friendly game of football and I never play in these staff student matches for that very reason. As soon as you get on the pitch everyone suddenly has the right to abuse whoever they want, and if your team loses and you happen to be the worst player you get blamed. That why I like climbing.
Anyway, even though I hate football I will still watch England play in the world cup and the fact that they never get very far is fine by me.

How did they know that?

Firstly the weather has improved and a fine evenig has been spent in Ann Macouns garden. Did the hardest problem quite easily which makes me think it isn't that hard rather than thinking how well I'm climbing. Must try to think more positively.
The salmon fishing season starts this week so had a look on the shelves in the sports shop in Dale "Alf Salbu" . His names not Alf by the way, it's Terje, Alf was his dad. Anyway they sell these artificial worms in a bottle, they look quite real and according to the label they taste real too. How do they know that? Has someone compared their taste to the taste of the real thing? Do they employ a worm taster? Now that could be the worlds worst job. Except it isn't.
When I was a kid we had this bathroom cabinet with a mirror on the front. Inside were all sorts of pills and ointments one thing to do whilst in the bathroom was to look through the contents. One tube was called "preparation H" I don't know if it was my mum or dad but one of them had Hemorrhoids, if you don't know what that is then google it but for goodness sake don't google image. I warned you. Anyway I read the contents of this ointment and discovered it contained sharks liver. Now how on earth do they know that sharks liver cures hemorrhoids? Do they employ someone who tries everything? Pineapple, no...Chicken wings, no...Sharks liver, aaah, bliss.
Or maybe it was like this; imagine walking nude along the beach (walking rather uncomfortably due to the hemorrhoids that is) suddenly you spot a dead shark lying in the sand and whooops you slip over landing with your bottom smack on the sharks exposed liver. Instant relief.

Alcohol

Today was one of those typical flekke days, the weather couldn't decide whether it was good or bad. Spent the day oscilating between chopping wood and doing stuff inside. Have now made a big pile of logs that my dad would have been proud of, he wasn't a woodcutter but a vicar which is why he would be proud of my crooked pile of logs,I just can't get it to look neat like everyone elses. I just wrote a whole load of stuff on my thoughts about students and alchohol but decided to delete it, I'm just not sure if this is the place for that sort of thing. Ok here is a summary of what I think.
This place is like a pressure cooker without a release valve, every now and again the pressure builds up and it explodes. Maybe the students are better organised than I think but it appears that the drinking parties happen rather sporadicaly, as a result students drink on campus between parties. Maybe if there was a party once a month everyone would be able to hold on to the next party and wouldn't feel the need for impromptu bathroom/climbing room/physics lab/rectors office parties (or where ever it is that they have them). There should definitely be a party at the start of term so that all the duty free alchohol can be consumed in a proper place. Staff should be present as Natt Ugles (see previous posting) in other words they are there but don't intervene (caring not controling). Maybe there could be another non alchohol party on campus for all the non drinkers. The big problem (so I have heard) is when party goers return, again there should be a staff presence just to make sure everyone returns safely and quietly. If a particular room didn't want their drunk room mate to return then that person could sleep somewhere else (either the drunk one or the other). I think everything can be solved if people are willing to talk about it honestly.
Oh dear I've written it all again. I'm just writing this because its something that a lot of people are talking about and therefore it's something that I have been thinking about and this blog is supposed to be about things I think about.
When I told Hilary I was writing a blog she said that Psychologists often tell their patients to keep a diary. Hmm, whats she trying to tell me?

Mobile Technology

I've bought a new mobile, the old one had some buttons missing and some didn't work so when I had to put my PIN in I kept getting it wrong. Hilary went to Førde to get the new one with Rowan and Josie. They chose it there fore I have a really cool phone. It a Sony Ericsson 750i, with a camera and everything. Here is a picture of me and Ben at "the book" on Jastadhiea. We've been there 105 times this year. People think it's boring doing the same walk every day but every day is different. It also means I never have to think about where to go, which means I can think about other things like this idea for introduction week. Intro week is a week when all the new students get introduced to things at the college. It used to be much more interesting but we have settled into a rut these past few years. Here is the idea; Instead of the walk up Jasatdheia we have a treasure hunt where all the questions are relayed via a mobile. Each group would have a mobile and a set of books about flowers, wildlife, local history etc. They'd receive questions and instructions one at a time, the answers would be entered via the phone to a database that would then send the next question. Problem is I don't know how to set up the mobile-web-database interface, I'll have to see if I can find something on the web. Pity Thomas isn't here anymore. Saw an example of good use of mobile phone technology in education, a guy in Singapore was doing a lecture on sex education to a group of school kids and the kids were texting questions to him, neat. Raining here at the moment so can't go climbing, hope I don't get fat, maybe I'll save my dissordered eating for another entry.

Site Meter

Bouldering outside has been put on ice since the weather turned bad so I've been to the moonboard. This is an overhanging board with plastic holds on it, I built it with Per and Karsten last winter. The problems are designed by Ben Moon so are undergraded and powerful, I've only managed problems up to 7a+ but that's much harder than outside grades. Well the site meter has gone quiet since the second years left, the first years have gone pretty quiet as well for that matter. The next couple of weeks are pretty laid back, only 3 long classes in the whole time. I'm going to Førde tomorrow to buy some cheap battery screwdrivers for a physics lab. The students are supposed to think of a research question and plan a practical around these motors. Last year I bought some mains powered drills which was a bit of a mistake, some students tried lifting weights using a string wound round the drill shaft, the drill was so powerful it threw the weights across the room.
I think I might remove the site meter, it's very distracting I keep opening the blog just to see the number of hits, the problem is all RCNUWC visits show up the same and all my visits are among those, I never quite know if they are all mine or if anyone else is reading this. Then you get all the visits that are 0 seconds, so someone opened it and immediately thought what a load of rubbish and went somewhere else, but how can you do that in 0 seconds? Thomas asked me who I was writing this for, I told him no one, trouble is as the college hits mount up I get tempted to write more about college things but I must resist temptation, so you'll have to put up with the bouldering etc.
As I said to Thomas, nice yearbook. I think I might cut some of those photos out and frame them. That picture of the girls room where they get fat is a good one. Was Ben in twice because he is our dog and also Jelenas boyfriend?
I think I'll remove the meter tomorrow.

Graduation Dinner

Just to keep things in perspective here's a pic of a new problem I forgot to mention. It's called Scoop Doggy 7a. Per is doing something called "spotting", he's supposed to catch me if I fall of backwards. Yesterday evening was graduation dinner, the food seems to get better and Pete's speach seems to get longer ( if it keeps getting longer at the same rate, in 10 years time he will have to start it now to get finished in time). Today is sponsored by Panodil, what would life be like without pain killers? Imagine having to go through a whole day with the headache that you sometimes wake up with. It wasn't always like this, probably an age thing, as you get older you're tolerance to alchol goes up but the amount required to give you a stinking headache doesn't. Result, you don't get drunk but still get a headache, nice. When I left Atlantic College (I taught there too) I was asked to give the speach (this wasn't because anyone thought I'd be good just because I was the longest serving leaver). So I spent some time trying to remeber all the funny events of the year and compiled one, I also threw in some visual gags to just in case. (something I've learnt from teaching in an internationla school, jokes not based on language work best). Whilst waiting to give my speach there was a special announcement, someone else had been asked to give one too. Up got this other guy and went through my complete list of funny stories, I was left with nothing, all I had was the slapstick, dressing up in an oldfashioned lifejacket and pouring water over myself. Well it got a laugh.
Interesting seating arrangements last night, I ended up sitting with two spaces either side of me, yes I had people opposite me but on my side I was alone. Couldn't have been planned like that, some people didn't turn up, does make you wonder though. I was also sat ontop of the heater which was just like the first time I drove one of the old college vans in winter. As I was driving along I suddenly had this horrible warm feling in my pants. Had I wet myself (or worse) without knowing it? In the absence of any smell I decided I must have burst a blood vessel and be bleeding to death, by this time I was beginning to sweat. I can't express the relief of spotting the illuminated switch labeled "seat warmer" which I promptly switched off.

End Of Term

Well the end is almost here and it's not easy to write about since it's all a bit too emotional and sensitive. Talking of emotions there has certainly been a lot of Knicker twisting here these past days. It was a staff training day today we started off with a session on putting out fires. John got too close whilst trying to put out a petrol fire and almost blew his head off. I suppose to be more accurate he almost got burnt, looked like something out of the show on friday though. Someone should have told him that the fire is supposed to come out of your mouth not into it. During the next part of the meeting I was asked to act as both note taker and chair for small group discussions, If this was a ploy to shut me up then it worked.
The beard has gone. realised that it was going to be one of those bushy ones so got rid. Never really got to like it much. On the way to "work" this morning I realised that if I looked down I could see something on my lip, it's not like I didn't know it was there I just hadn't seen it directly before. Waking up in the morning feeling like you had someone elses face on wasn't pleasant either, especially since that other person had a beard.
As for the end of term, I generally try to keep a low profile, the graduation dinner is usually good fun but I don't tend to go down to wave off the buses, I think that's more of a student thing so I let them get on with it. I once rode my bike down the hill when the buses were leaving and as a result my eyes were watering, I felt quite embarassed when people came to comfort me. Maybe the staff should do what the second years do as the ski week bus leaves, it'll never happen though with so many English teachers, we don't really like showing bottoms we just make jokes about them.

Toilet Paper

One of the nice things about having people to stay is that we get soft toilet paper. The first time I went abroad I was 21, I went to France rock climbing in my new Triumph spitfire (like the one I have now but blue). Befotre then I hadn't had any exposure to other cultures since we always went on holiday in Wales, the Welsh are just like the English except a bit shorter, that's because they used to earn there living going down mines (survival of the fittest etc.). I had studied French for about 8 years but still couldn't put together a single sentence however I had learnt that French people have different toilets to the English. I spent the week with a French family who I'd met in a climbing shop in Coventry, it was with great trepidation that I made my first trip to the toilet, what would I find in there? Surprisingly it was just like the toilet we had at home so I sat down relieved that everything was normal. After some minutes I reached for the toilet roll holder but was horrified by what I found. Attached to the wall was a square container which upon closer inspection contained 10 or 20 squares of cardboard, so that's the difference, they use cardboard not paper, but how? A scraper perhaps? I decided that the scraping option was out of the question for my English bottom so set about separating the layers of cardboard then scrunching it up so it was soft enough to use. About half an hour later, finished with the business I stood up and turned around to flush the chain. On a shelf above the toilet were stacked several square packages of toilet paper, each with a sheet of cardboard at the top and bottom. So thats when I discovered, not even the French use cardboard to wipe their bottoms.

Reading and Writing

Can't think about much to write about so thought I'd write about writing. During the early days at the college when I was responsible for pretty much everything that involved time (time table, calendar, weekly schedule ) or lists (college database, activities, service, projects, records of progress etc) I remember an evening in a cabin with a group of teachers, Jelena, Brian, Brita and Antoinette. We were discussing how the college programme could be improved, anyway the thing I remember most was that for some reason Jelena said that she might spend some time writing during the summer holiday. So I said what for and she replied just for fun. The incredulous look on my face made Brian fall off his chair with laughter. I had never come across the idea of writing for fun. It has recently occurred to me that writing this blog stuff is the first time I have written purely for fun and because I'm not writing for anyone then I don't care about punctuation, grammatical mistakes and spelling I can just write what I want how I want. My approach to reading is pretty much the same although I have of late started reading before I go to sleep, I never read novels though just books about climbing mountaineering and that sort of thing. I must admit that I've never been impressed by people who quote others all the time, I just think well if I'd read that book I'd know that too.
My most memorable read must be 1984. It was about 1983 and I had been climbing in Poland, I had fallen off trying an unclimbed route and broken my pelvis. Poland at that time was not a place to be with a broken pelvis I'll save the rest of the story for another time but there I was on my own in a concrete high rise block somewhere in Poland. The only way they had got me out of the hospital was because someones brother worked there, he would only let me go if the people I was with would inject me with morphine everytime I was moved. They had no medical training but learnt quickly. So lying on my back, peeing into a bottle in an appartment with graffitti onthe walls having morphine injections twice a day I read 1984. I finished the book quickly to minimise the agony. They only had two English books so I started the second, Animal Farm.

Potatoes

As mentioned yesterday was a holiday, on these festival days in Flekke I always tend to end up talking to old people that I see around but rarely stop to talk to. I have always found it much easier to have Norwegian conversations with old people because:
1. They talk slowly
2. You can change the topic at any time you want, they'll just drift into the new topic without noticing.
3. They often can't hear what you're saying anyway so it doesn't matter of you make mistakes.
4. You can stop when you feel like it.
This particular gentleman lives in a farm along the road from us (you can see it on google earth). Every year he plants potatoes in a patch of land next to his house, he told me that he has never eaten a potato bought from a shop. I also learnt that before the war each plant would have 30 potatoes now 10 is unusual (maybe I should tell him about genetic modification).

It can be weird living in a country where you aren't 100% sure that what you understand to have been said is actualy what has been said. I sometimes feel I am living in a parallel universe, I have my own reality inside my head but it's not the same as everyone elses, I suppose I am a virtual minority. The funny thing is it doesn't matter at all. I live quite happily with my own thoughts an opinions based (sometimes) on completely false information.

By the way, I think me and the potato man were on the same wavelength.

Rømme Graut

Today is 17th May!
If that doesn't mean anything on its own then your not Norwegian. On this day we march through Flekke, listen to speaches and eat Rømme Graut. We got the time wrong today and almost missed the whole thing. Lucky we didn't since Florence was singing a solo (which she did very well especially considering she had to go on stage a few minutes after we got there).
Rømme Graut is a sort of semolina pudding made with sour cream, its is quite heavy but I like it You eat it with cured meats. After two bowls full you can really feel it in your stomach.
I once went to an Indian friends house for dinner, his wife had made a special desert, it was a bit like a wet fruit cake. I had two plates full and asked what was in it, to my surprise it was 5 litres of milk and 4 kilos of carrots boiled for a long time until it only about half a litre is left, I had just eaten about a kilo of carrots and a couple of litres of milk. In bed that night the pudding returned to it's original volume in my stomach, I could feel it pressing on my spine from the inside. I was pinned to the bed by this dense lump of matter sitting inside me, all I could do was rotate my body around it. I think it would be very dangerous to swim after eating this.

Here is the recipe, I found it on www.bawarchi.com, its called Carrot Halwa ;

1 kg juicy orange carrots
1 1/2 litre milk
400-500 gm sugar
elaichi powder (cardomon)
saffron few flakes
few drops orange colour (optional)
1 tbsp ghee

Method

Peel and grate carrots
Put milk and carrots in a heavy saucepan. Boil till thick, stirring occassionally. Once it starts thickening, stir continuously. Add sugar and cook further till thickens. Add ghee, elaichi, saffron and colour. Stir on low heat till the mixture collects in a soft ball or the ghee oozes out. Serve hot, decorated with a chopped almond or pista.

OK I exagerated!

Condensation

Realised that one should look for the best in people and not the worst. Probably everyone has something bad about them and if you concentrate on that then you'd not like anyone. Per told me something from his cognitive therapy course that was very apt, I can't remember what it was but I'll edit it in later. It reminds me of what I often tell physics students; never try to prove something that is wrong, it ill make you very unhappy (sort of connected). Also realised that trust is maybe more important than respect.
So focusing on the good aspects of the day; had an excellent bouldering session at Iglekjøn, did three 7a problems and was getting somewhere on the low start to "Bunde Romantic". This is named after the guy who owns the boulder. He took part in a national TV programme where farmers look for wives only he was looking for a man, pretty brave really. He didn't get enough votes to win but I think he found someone. Later went to the Lipman boulder with Per (two sessions in one day!) did two new problems and Per did Maureen.
Tomorrow is the 17th May and tonight is traditionaly a big party night in Norway so some friends are coming round to have a sort of condensed party. I've noticed as one gets older things get condensed. Parties used to be music, dance, socialising, drinking etc. And now, well lets just say that it's not all of these things. Same thing with climbing, it used to be ropes, harness, cliff etc. now it's a small boulder in a wood.

Invigilators Waddle

Waddle is the way that ducks walk. My last invigilation today, at last I don't have to stress over the constant feeling that I should be in an exam (maybe I should have jumped in the fjord?). Noticed that I have a special walk whilst invigilating, the point is to walk without making any noise. Place heel down carefully, rock foot until it is flat, lift second foot and place directly in front of first (don't know if this reduces noise but it gives one something to think about). I think I will market "the invigilators shoe" it will have a curved sole and be totaly free from any detectable noise, maybe Dale Skofabrik can make them. Well I can definitely conclude from this mornings exams that Chinese B is much harder than Norwegian Abinitio. Thought question 1 paper 2 was a little unfair, writing an E-mail saying to the teacher why you had missed class, much easier for those with practice. Saw a couple of smiling faces for that one :) I bet that question wasn't on Chinese B, I mean, who would skip that class.
Thought I'd pretend to have Obsessive compulsive dissorder and tidied up everyone desks between papers and put paper 2 exactly in the corner of the table. Wonder if anyone noticed? I don't think David got the point.

Deadlines

Got Eske to bring his mat and meet me and Per in the woods then did Maureen Lipman 7a, a superb problem traversing the lip of the boulder in the pic. That means that I have had to put off record writing to later this evening. Now found out that the deadline was actually yesterday. What is the point of having a deadline on a saturday? Sarmad isn't even at work at the weekend and since he is the only person who even knows where the database is (except me of course) then nothing is going to happen until monday at about 10am, so that's going to be my deadline. Phew I can relax again.

Advising

Bouldering on the Maureen Lipman boulder yesterday evening. Perfect conditions. Top roped Maureen, not desperate but will need a lot of mats. Did the obvious flake easy but commiting (Flake Placid 6a) Per did the slab on the left (Svarabhakti 6b) would not be nice to fall off! (both repeated each others problems) Worked the hanging slab just right of this, will be a classic.
Meanwhile Rowan stayed up all night in Arne's classroom playing World of Warcraft with his mates on a LAN. So that's one advantage of WOW over bouldering, you can do it in the dark.
More records of progress this weekend, well that probably means sunday evening. This time it's advisee records. Advisees are a group of students who I advise!!! This is not that easy since advice can only really be given when asked for. Imagine I go into Flekke shop and see someone by the cheese counter, go up to them and say. "I advise you against buying cheese it's too high in cholesterol and looking at the state of you the last thing you need is more cholesterol". But this is the sort of thing that goes on all the time - metaphoricaly. So I tend to wait for advisees to ask for advice, I should really be called a waiter not an advisor.
A waiter isn't a bad description for another reason, "advising" is closely connected to eating.
So how should an advisee record of progress be?

It has been very pleasant spending time waiting for Maureen to ask for advice this term. Whilst waiting we have enjoyed one breakfast (bacon, eggs, baked beans and toast), a selection of Pizzas, Chicken curry and of course Pasta.

World of Warcraft

My son Rowan plays this game pretty much all the time and when he's not playing he is talking to his friends about it or probably dreaming about it. I think the name is quite inappropriate, I'd call it "World of Walking about", probably wouldn't be so popular then though. From what I have seen the game consists of walking around with a sort of shuffling action, every once in a while you meet something and throw balls of fire at it. After you have played for about 3 years you get a horse which is really good because then you don't have to shuffle any more. Some players have more than one character but you can't play them at the same time, so heres my idea; Get two accounts and play both characters at the same time on two computers then the characters could help each other out throwing balls of fire together. If Rick Wakeman could play 16 keyboards at the same time two should be no problem. How long will it be before some kid confuses the game with reality and kills his classmates, probably get beaten up when no balls of fire come out of his sleeves.
Not sure if devoting ones life to "world of warcraft" is a good thing. Problem is having devoted my life to shuffling around forests with a bouldering pad on my back I can't really comment.

Dreaming

After class the other day and I felt like I'd been in one of my recurring dreams. There are several different ones but they all involve trying to do something and not being be to do it. The punch that always goes in slow motion or running and your feet not able to push against the ground. In class I was trying to get across a concept and no matter how I phrased it it just wouldn't pass from my brain to the students, like a balloon flying off uncontrolably finally landing on the floor.
I used to have another dream where I was sitting a maths exam and I realise I haven't been to class all term, I try to think of times I was in class and can't think of any. A few months ago I had a dream where I succeded in doing something, can't remember what it was though.
People sometimes say "I hope your dreams come true" I hope mine don't.
I wonder if anyone has dreams where they are hugely succesful and doing fantastic things that they can't do in real life? Imagine waking up from one of those dreams and thinking; oh no, it wasn't true why did I have to wake up. It'd sort of ruin your day. I always wake up thinking thank goodness for that, I don't have to sit an exam I just have to invigilate one. That's why I'm always so cheerful.

Exam Footwear

With reference to a previous posting "invigilation" just had another one. Only one pair of Converse but lots of flip flops including one student who wears flip flops and socks, must be very uncomfortable in the region of the toe thong. Someone else was sporting some of those eye shades that you wear on planes (By the way Jerry Moffat used to always sleep with these on). I was waiting for her to finish the exam, pull down the shades and go to sleep, cool or what, never happened though.
Thought of a good way to cheat, first learn Chinese then print all your cheating info in chinese on a T shirt and get the person infront to wear it. I can already see a problem, what if Alistair changes the order and the person wearing your shirt gets put behind you? You'd have to sit the other way round and someone might spot you (probably not though). Bit of a give away to all the chinese students in the class too.

Ken Dodd

Sometimes one has these altercations that leave one thinking "what was that all about". Was one standing up for someone else? Was one acting in retaliation? Was one simply exercising ones agressive nature? or is one simply bonkers. Is one Robin Hood, the Sheriff of Nottingham or Ken Dodd.
Finished making the first year end of term test and very interesting it is too i can tell you. Read a posting on the IB teachers web site (OCC as it's called) someone was complaining that past papers are available on the net, accused students of cheating. I would have thought that it was good to practice past papers. Problem is some teachers want total control so students only practice the questions that they want them to. The real reason is that they want to use the past papers for tests, if the students practice them then the test won't be fair. So whose cheating the student or the teacher?
By the way maybe I should say something about naming boulder problems. According to my criteria. the name should reflect something about the piece of rock or moves (e.g. scoop, lip, hang) it should be slightly humorous/bizarre usualy some sort of play on words. So Maureen Lipman is an old English TV actress, the problem traverses a lip and putting the two together is bizarre. Definitely Ken Dodd.

Maureen Lipman

Maureen Lipman is the name of my new project, I have given it this name (Maureen for short) since it traverses the lip of the boulder. ( I said it was 10m long in my last post on second look its more like 6m but that's huge enough). Forgot to mention that I did a classic new problem last night called Scoop Day, its only about 6a but three star for sure, it takes the line of the obvious scoop. The name comes from "soup day" which is a tradition here at the school, students eat soup for lunch and the money saved goes to charity. This reminds me of one bizzare college meeting when some students were trying to argue that it was an abuse of human rights to take away their normal lunch and replace it with soup. Warped or what?
Ben is very tired today, wouldn't go up to "the book" which is our daily walk. Maybe Jelena has tired him out, she is sort of Bens girlfriend, she takes him for long walks in the mountains and Ben loves her. He loves me more though.

Heat Wave

We are having a heat wave here in Norway, this means first and foremost that all the boulders are dry. Brushed a total classic today, a hand traverse about 10m long about 3m off the ground, perfect. Hopefully do it tomorrow.
Physics exam tomorrow. I have been watching students revising on some online questions I set up on quia.com. It is interesting to watch how they improve as the practice but why are so many not using this gift of a revision aid, maybe computers offer too many distractions (as i am proving right now). Anyway good luck to anyone sitting physics IB tomorrow.
Another thing that I have been puzzling over is why it is that very clever students sometimes can't answer the simplest question in class, I have concluded that it is because most of the time they are not folowing what is being said but are thinking about something else. This used to happen to me a few years ago whilst i was teaching, suddenly I'd lose myself and would write something completely different from what I was saying. I once almost fell asleep teaching a TOK lesson about history, the passage I was reading was so boring my brain switched off. Maybe it's the heat.
Had an interesting episode today suffice to say that what I learnt from the "communication course" at the start of term seems to be right. The best way to avoid confrontation is not communicate.
If anyone is reading this during my class then PD is the amount of electrical energy converted to heat per unit charge. If you are wondering students read stuff online during class it's because they all have tablet pcs with wireless internet in front of them, cool eh.
Will write about "snowshoveler" another time or see here

Confirmation

This weekend was pretty much taken up be Rowans confirmation (although I did manange to Boulder today, Iglekjøn). Rowan chose to have a non Christian confirmation, the ceremony was very interesting,just like a church service but without God, much shorter and more to the point.
What really brought it home to me was the song we sang. I have been to many church services in Norway and although I understand Norwegian I can't understand a word of the hymns, the "non christian hymn" was very easy to understand, this seems to sum the whole thing up.

Cake Baking

Just finished a long session of cake baking in preparation for Rowans comfirmation, 3 strawberry tarts and two pavalovas. Good session bouldering in Ann Macouns garden with Thomas (named after the first rectors wife who once emptied a barrow full of garden rubbish on me whilst i was bouldering, she didn't apologise just said i shouldn't be there). He got very close to doing the eponymous problem Ann Macoun, I got very close to the Professor a rarely repeated 7b first done by Klaus Sandvik nephew of Kåre.
Looked at the counter and saw that someone was reading my blog whilst sat in my lesson, a message to you:

Listen to what I say don't read what I think :)

At last someone has noticed I am trying to grow a beard. I have this image of Cat Stevens

but at the moment am looking more like Mr Twit.

By the way it was my birthday today. Most people advertise their birthday on the college website, i removed mine. Thinking behind this is that if no one knows its your birthday then you can't get upset if they don't say anything, if everyone knows and know one says happy birthday you might think no one likes you.

Invigilation

It's exam time here in Flekke and that means I have to invigilate, this involves standing in a hall full of students making it look like I'm checking that they don't cheat. I reckon if I was a student wanting to cheat i could probably work out how to get round this tight security. I've always thought it would be pretty dumb to cheat in an exam, so you get a good result and go to university to study a course that you don't have a chance of understanding, more cheating, get a job that you can't do get fire and have a miserable life.
Things to do while invigilating:
1. Count how many students are wearing converse shoes (I try to wind up my kids by calling them canvarse, my mum would never let me have these flimsy canvas shoes as she called them)
2. See if I can remember the name of all the students (If I can't remember one I usually take a tour round the room and have a look at the name on their paper pretending to be trying to catch out cheaters).
3. See how long you can keep your tongue perfectly still.
4. Try holding your lip away from your teeth so that it dries out then let it go.
At stage 4 you realise that students are starting to wonder what you are doing.
By the time I have done all of this it's normally time to finish the exam, we are supposed to give a 30min then a 5 min warning that the end is nigh, I often give a 5 second one for a laugh (students will laugh at anything at tghe end of an exam).
So that's a bit about my life as a teacher, just glad I have some other lives too.

Holten Hang

Per was to tired so went bouldering to the Holten Hang on my own actualy I went with Ben the family Gordon Setter who sat quietly whilst I bouldered. On the subject of Ben he wasn't so well behaved the whole evening, he ate the tale of a large white Goose that we had borrowed for Florence to hold whilst singing a song at a show tomorrow (another Jocob Sande evening) so I had to sew it back together (its OK it wasn't real).
At Holten Hang wasn't feeling strong but after warming up managed my project there, a low level traverse 7b, so that was good. The problem with completing projects is that you then have to find a new one.

Records of Progress

This is what we call school reports to give them a more positive, non threatening sort of ring. The problem when you sit writing these in every spare moment (I'll start whe I've finished this) is that after a while you begin to think in the style of a school report;

I have been impressed with the exceptional standard that has been attained by the toast at the breakfast table, this has been acheived through hard work and with continued effort I am sure that great things are just around the corner. Of particular note is the way in which the peanut butter and honey have been working together even on the rare occasions when banana has been absent they manage to pull it together. If only the toast could maintain its level of warmth a little bit longer then everyone would benefit, good luck and well done.

So if the next few entries are written in a strange style you know why.

Tasting Chemicals

Well the mobile turned up, a student found it in a draw in the chemistry lab. It must have been when I borrowed a glass tube from there yesterday morning. I wanted the tube to stick into a balloon to blow it up, learnt that I shouldn't put things from the chemistry lab in my mouth. I think it must have been used in some strong acid or something because it tasted like a really strong acid drop (an English sweet) when I used it to blow up the balloon, not pleasant. The balloon experiments have been quite an eye opener, discovered that the charge on a balloon dissappears when you let the air out of it, don't know why yet.
Went to a concert this evening, Rowan's band were playing. They had turned a Jacob Sande (famous local poet) into a rock song. I don't think the old ladies in the audience appreciated it but I thought it was pretty good. Wish I could play the guitar but since it doesn't begin with B won't bother trying to learn before I'm 50.

Natt Ugle

Last night was an interesting experience as I mentioned I was on duty in dale whilst the youth had a sort of party to mark the beginning of Russ. Russ is a norwegian thing, during their last term at school kids party from 1st Mayto 17th May. The ones I was "looking after" were 16 year olds leaving Ungdomskule. I was there in case anyone needed an adult but it was not my job to intervene if anything happened. Well nothing happened although I was quite shocked when an older youth produced to bottles of home distilled alcohol and passed them round to the younger kids, all quite illegal, he might as well have been passing round a spliff. We didn't do anything of course since that was not our place, felt very strange though.
When I got home I thought I'd lost my mobile (panic) turned oput it was in the car. Now I have lost my mobile (double panic) turns out its nowhere. Offered Florence 300 Kroner if she finds it.